banana!
A man I once knew got a job as a bus conductor. It was his responsibility to collect the fares and dish out the tickets. He had a bus mans uniform and one of those little machines he wore round his neck on a strap. We'll call him Bill.
When Bill had been doing his job for some time a strange thing happened to him. One day while dishing out his tickets he saw a little old lady get on. Bill had always taken it upon himself to help little old ladies on and of the bus but today for some strange unexplained reason he had an overwhelming urge to push the lady off the bus and to the shock and amazement of all the passangers he did just this. Unfortunately the little oldlady didnt pull through.
So Bill ended up in prison on death row. When the time of his execution neared the prison warden asked him what his last request was. Bill told the warden that for his last meal he wished to have the largest bunsh of the jusiet banans he could possibly find, Bills request was granted and the night before his execution he ate every single one.
On the day of his execution (by electric chair) the executoiner told him as they do to all prisoners in his position "For the crimes for which you have commited, 10,000 volts will be passed through your body until you are dead, May God have mercy on your soul"
They pulle dthe lever and 10,000 volts was passed through his body, after 5 minutes it came to the executioners notice that not \only was Bill still alive but he was completely untouched by the electricity. The Judge ruled that he had faced his punishment and was free to go.
Through some wierd and uninformed decision, Bill got his jobback as a bus conductor, only to....you guessed it....do exactly the same ting and once again end up on death row. He asked once again for the banans fdor hisfinal rquest and then once again 10,000 volts passed through him leaving him untouched.
To cut a long story short Bill went free to commit this crime once again and again face the electric chair. At his 3rd execution they increased the voltage to 20,000 volts and once again Bill remained untouched. Th eexecutioner couldnt believe his eyes and asked "Bill whats your secret? Is is the bananas?" Bill smirked to himself, shrugged his shoulders and said no I just really like bananas...all I can say is I must be a bad conductor!!!"
The moral to this tale is never listen to bad jokes because you always end up disappointed and they are always the only one you can remember when you need a joke!!
When Bill had been doing his job for some time a strange thing happened to him. One day while dishing out his tickets he saw a little old lady get on. Bill had always taken it upon himself to help little old ladies on and of the bus but today for some strange unexplained reason he had an overwhelming urge to push the lady off the bus and to the shock and amazement of all the passangers he did just this. Unfortunately the little oldlady didnt pull through.
So Bill ended up in prison on death row. When the time of his execution neared the prison warden asked him what his last request was. Bill told the warden that for his last meal he wished to have the largest bunsh of the jusiet banans he could possibly find, Bills request was granted and the night before his execution he ate every single one.
On the day of his execution (by electric chair) the executoiner told him as they do to all prisoners in his position "For the crimes for which you have commited, 10,000 volts will be passed through your body until you are dead, May God have mercy on your soul"
They pulle dthe lever and 10,000 volts was passed through his body, after 5 minutes it came to the executioners notice that not \only was Bill still alive but he was completely untouched by the electricity. The Judge ruled that he had faced his punishment and was free to go.
Through some wierd and uninformed decision, Bill got his jobback as a bus conductor, only to....you guessed it....do exactly the same ting and once again end up on death row. He asked once again for the banans fdor hisfinal rquest and then once again 10,000 volts passed through him leaving him untouched.
To cut a long story short Bill went free to commit this crime once again and again face the electric chair. At his 3rd execution they increased the voltage to 20,000 volts and once again Bill remained untouched. Th eexecutioner couldnt believe his eyes and asked "Bill whats your secret? Is is the bananas?" Bill smirked to himself, shrugged his shoulders and said no I just really like bananas...all I can say is I must be a bad conductor!!!"
The moral to this tale is never listen to bad jokes because you always end up disappointed and they are always the only one you can remember when you need a joke!!
posted by Juckle at 5:01 PM
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